FOMO

My Fomo?

 Fomo is the fear of missing out. The fear of missing out is something that I have struggled with during my mental and physical health journey. Thankfully I have been able to attend school events and activities, but missing school days is the main cause of my FOMO. People don't realize the reality of missing school. They don't realize that once I return to school or while I'm at home resting and trying to function throughout the day I still need to do my schoolwork. Missing school isn't just free vacation days, it's laying in bed trying to find the energy to do simple daily tasks.

   Recently, I have been realizing how old I'm getting and that I'm not 13 and in quarantine anymore! COVID-19 messed up my perception of my age. I'm going to be 18 soon. I'm going to be graduating high school next year. Where'd all the time go? Life over the last few years has been such a blur, and I didn't realize how fast it was going until it had already passed. Covid had put a big strain on my relationships with friends. Due to my health problems, I had to be extra careful not to get sick. It feels like the last 4 ½ years I have been watching everyone else make memories with friends through social media while I was struggling with my health. Now that I'm finally getting on track… High school is almost over. I had missed many opportunities to make friends and be social with people my age due to COVID-19 and my health. I was made fun of and singled out by staff and students at the last 3 schools I've attended due to my health. No matter how much I try to explain, No one will understand my life story unless they live it.

   I'm very excited about my future and to work towards my dream job, get married and have kids. However, I feel that in the back of my mind, I'm always going to have a little piece of me wishing that my health problems didn't take away part of my high school and life experiences. Don't get me wrong I am super grateful for the experiences I've had and all the opportunities The Seen Project has given me, but I still reminisce about what could've been.

   As I prepare to start at a new school this fall, The FOMO has been very heavy on my chest. I'm watching my old cheer team practice without me, I had to say goodbye to some of the best friends I have ever known, and a lot has changed in my life since last year and I feel this new school is going to be a beneficial decision but watching the groups I was involved with practice without me and my friends start school without me is very difficult.

   I'm very proud of myself for the progress that I have made and I feel that I am in a spot where I am stronger than my FOMO, health, and mental health. I'm going to make the most out of these next two years, Surrounded by those who love and care for me. I'm not going to shrink myself and fit into places I have outgrown! I'm gonna let my individuality shine!

Love

Lexie ❤️